243: Rick Cook: On Faith, Family, and Fatherhood

In this powerful and personal episode, Kevin sits down with 20-year LA County Fire veteran, Captain Rick Cook. Kevin and Rick dive deep into what it truly means to be a "good dude"—a man whose character is defined not by his job title, but by his role as a husband and father. Rick shares profound wisdom from his 27-year marriage, the challenges and triumphs of raising children, and the incredible story of how his wife's loving intervention prompted him to slow down and leave one of the busiest fire stations in the county. From punk rock and the Navy to father-son fistfights and the "crock pot" theory of marriage, this conversation is packed with raw honesty, humor, and inspiration for every man trying to balance a demanding career with a thriving home life. 

Big thank you to My Epic and Facedown Records for the use of their song "Hail" in our podcast!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dz2RZThURTU&ab_channel=FacedownRecords

"Memories" by Dreamwake (Saxaphone Metalcore)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cq8p0pDKTKA

Send Nole an email: nolerltw@gmail.com

Sign up for a class at The Fire Up Program!
https://www.fireupprogram.com/programs

MyZone facility code for The Fire You Carry: CALIFUS001

Get $60 off a MZ-Switch Heart Rate Monitor!
https://buy.myzone.org/?lang=enUS&voucher=CALIFUS001-60

The Fire Up Progam video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I__ErPW46Ec&t=12s&ab_channel=FireUpProgram

The Fire You Carry Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/thefireyoucarry/

Donate to The Fire Up Program.
https://www.fireupprogram.com/donate

The Fire Up Program Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/fireup_program/

Kevin's Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/kevinpwelsh/?hl=en

Nole's Instagram.
https://www.instagram.com/nolelilley/?hl=en

Transcript

Speaker 2 (00:13.954)
This is the Fire You Carry podcast. In today's episode, Kevin sits down with Captain Rick Cook. Now, I'm not on this interview, which is appropriate. Although I am sad that I missed it, I deeply enjoyed listening to it as I did the editing and the post-production. I know you guys are gonna get a lot out of this episode. I'm already plotting and scheming how I can find a way to hang out.

with Rick when he comes up to his cabin in Lake Arrowhead, which is near where I live. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this episode with Kevin featuring Rick Cook.

Speaker 2 (01:18.818)
Welcome back to the Fire You Carry podcast. We're missing Noel today. Noel is in another location, but hey, I had an opportunity to hang out with my buddy Rick Cook today who I've always loved and Rick, welcome to the show, brother. Thanks, Kevin. This is pretty fun. We're holding microphones like we're dueling mics right now, but it's going to work. Yeah, it's going to work. Rick, you're at the tail end of this thing. How long you been on?

LA County fire. 20 years, 20 years. How much longer you got going? Well, three to four in the station and then see you. Bye. Well, there's a couple of things. So I always joke around that you don't want to get called a nice guy, a nice guy, but that's cause it should pie. Yeah. Yeah. There you go. So I got you in a different category. I got you in the good dude. He's a good dude.

You know what mean? Like to me, that's like, he's a good dude. Like it means more like your character. Thanks, Kevin. So are you. No, but he's like, Hey, that's a good dude. And it also means like you're competent. got respect for him on the job and what he does and how he does his thing. But it seems like, and it seems like everybody that I ask about you knows right off the bat, which I think is super impressive that you're a family guy. Like you're a family guy. And like, I think

in generations past or even we know them, we know some of these guys, they're a fire guy. They know everything's fire, everything's fire. And it seems like that never has defined you, even though you're a super competent captain who is well respected, it doesn't really define you. Thank you, Kevin. That's a nice compliment. I appreciate it. And I always love working around you. You're always fun to talk to. yeah, home's number one, you know, you always want to be a cause something's going to give right. And you don't want it to give at home.

if you're stretched out too thin and basically you want to be a band one dad. Right. Okay. So let's talk about this is Mark Gillan, our favorite and my boy Mark Gillan at the station. He talks about this all the time. He quotes you on this. I don't know. He said something like, I was a band two engineer, a band three captain, but I'm a band one dad. I think I am. I put in the time. We have a guy at the station who's having a kid soon and I told him tonight, you know, start praying for him now.

Speaker 2 (03:41.026)
Who's gonna date, who's gonna marry, who's gonna be hanging out with, you know? Because there's a, yeah, they always say there's a wrong crowd. We've seen the wrong crowd. I was in the wrong crowd, you know? But there's not always a wrong crowd. There's that one kid, that one dude that's gonna turn you sideways and on the wrong road, you know? So the more time at home, even when your kids are at a, you know, they're busy with sports and they have, from every angle...

but it just your presence. If you get that two minutes and you jam it on the freeway, just to give that wave, whether as you're going into class and that's all you saw or just, just, just that presence. And they got their homework and practice and this, that, and the other, but just by you being around, or I've heard you guys say that, Oh, they're busy anyways. They're busy. No, just that time. And so, cause you can't get it back. Right? No, you can't. And I love, so if you, if you guys don't know, if you're not in the fire service, the band things means that when you would take a test to an entrance exam,

there might be a few thousand people and they split them up in bands based on your performance. if you get band one, you're like an A student 90 and above band two would be, you know, your B 80 to 90 and three. And so we're talking, when we talk about bands, that means like, Hey, you can celebrate when you take a promotional exam to engineer or captain. I'm band one. That means you put in the work, you studied your brains out, you have the right resume. You've done the body of work to get in that band.

And when we're talking about a band one dad, not often do we talk about that. Like, hey, how do you know, how do you know you're a band one dad? Is it from the product that you give out? Is it from what the relationship that you have? Like, what are you thinking? thinking, uh, when you get the receipt as time goes on, as they get older, I've had a, uh, you know, a beer with my son in the front porch or just chit chat. And he's thanked me, you know, thanks for being tough on me, dad. Thanks for, for trying to be in there. And I appreciate it. um,

And same with my daughter, you you just get the little receipts and I joke around a car, my snow leopard, cause she's so beautiful. You get glimpses, know, just a glimpse. it could be fourth quarter, 30 seconds left tied up. And she comes down out of her cave upstairs and just sits down next to me and dad, you want to watch funny as home videos and our family viewed. I'm like, absolutely turn the channel. Cause if you don't show runoff and the snow leopards gone. So you just.

Speaker 2 (06:04.578)
You know what? You'll find out what happened in the game later or whatever. You just take that time. Those moments. And I feel, and some guys I get it, they, it's, it's different situations. They have to work a ton, you know? And so they're probably like going, dude, I can't, I gotta work. And yeah, there's our conflict and she's mad because he's always gone, but he's always gone because he's providing and that whole cycle. Right. But, yeah, it's a very hard thing. I feel like it's a very hard thing to have the work life balance with our job because you're physically gone.

50 % of the month, let's say. But I feel like you have to, I don't know if you have any strategy when you get home, I try to take that phone and put it in the drawer and I try to like be present and try to do all the things. Like if they say, Hey, you want to do this? Yes. You know what mean? A hundred percent. You know, like whatever your kids are into, like we talked about this morning, you're into my daughter likes art. I'm I like art, you know? Yeah. So when you get home, you just, I've learned also like turn that phone off.

pull over if it's for 10 seconds, if it's for an hour, whatever, go to the gym, go surf, go fish, or just pull over the curb and separate. All right. And then you get a piece of paper and a pen and write down, oh, today I have to go to Home Depot or today I need to do this or do that. So now you have it in your pocket. So when you walk in the door and you pour your wife a cup of coffee, you get a cup of coffee. What do need from you today? And your phone's off. No one's asking you to work or getting out of this other recall for the fifth time this week. Right. And you can just.

turn off your phone, you give her full attention. And after 15 minutes, she's like, okay, I'm leaving blah, blah, Now you can pull out your list instead of like, we're not even listening to her. That gets it off your head. You know, you got, you know, you got those things to do and then you're present. You don't know what she's saying. Cause you're like, Oh my gosh, you won't shut up. I gotta go to home debug or whatever you gotta do that day. Right. You and, so yeah, little things like that, you know, and I've also learned, man, I've been married, uh, 27 years.

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't want to sound, you know, cheesy, whatever, but the every year it goes by, we just have more remember when it's more history and you actually love her. I love her more than I did ever because of that, that history, that bond, the ups and downs, the children wars, right? You've gone, you've gone through all the things of like warfare. We're wanting to cut time type of stuff. That's like, were joking at the table. I was like, I couldn't imagine. It seems exhausting to me if I had to go date.

Speaker 2 (08:28.342)
again, and be on like first dates. I'm like, no, will compare to my wife because we've been through all the ups and downs of life with like lost parents and brothers and like we've getting pregnant and having miscarriages and then going, we've had, which is life. We've done life together. And I could imagine trying to like talk to some random lady about what her likes and dislikes are. It just seems exhausting. So I think you're right. mean, I think you're right. I I come home with some lilies.

from trader Joe's and some dark chocolate out of the checkout aisle. It's like, it's equivalent to for me, like pulling in with a Porsche, you know, noticing the shoes that she's wearing, the color that she has on her nails now, you know, or like your hair or, know, it's just the little things. Yeah. Yeah. You got to drop them. got to drop them a little crock pots, you know, you get the crock pot going in the morning. You know what mean? Like,

I can't tell you about the crock I love this. Speaking freely, like I said, you come home, give her the attention, she's busy, she does whatever. And then you got your day. Like when the kids are younger, like what do want from me? Specifically, what do want me to do? Oh, can you pick him up at 2.50 and then baseball's at 3.15, blah, blah, blah, Girl Scouts at 10.00 at 6.00, blah, blah. What else do you need? Salvatore Stater Brothers, you can pick up at dinner. Cool, what else? That's it. Then I can plan my day. Oh, by the way, I like your shoes. Those are cool. I like that color of your...

your nails, your hair looks good, right? And like, oh, you got the crock pot going. You know, putting it on low, putting it on low, putting on some music like later on, you guys are doing dishes, whatever. You kind of get behind her, start dancing with a little bit. That crock pot, that thing's on high now, you know, but one, one little misstep, one little, you got to start all over. Hey, I like your shoes all over again. Does she know? She knows. They don't care. They just want the compliment. Yeah.

It's interesting. mean, obviously you brought up your faith. talked to the young guy today who is their first time kid. She's pregnant. You're talking about praying already for him and that kid's spouse, which I think is powerful. We've, we pray for our girls, future husband as well. It's an interesting thing though. If I look back, I was a raging moron at 18 years old, just running the streets, drinking, getting arrested, getting in fights, doing all those things. Right.

Speaker 2 (10:52.558)
And so I'm like, I wonder like that's the exact, am the exact opposite at 19 or 20 of what I would want for my daughters, right? But I also know like, saved by grace, like I do have a faith and I'm I'm flattered that you would say, some people would say, Hey, you're a good dude now, you know what I mean? But it terrifies me if you met a dude like me at 19 or 20, you know what I mean? Yeah. I hear you. I know.

That's tough because I remember when I was a kid. So yeah, that's where you just keep them in prayer and they get these relationships and it doesn't work out. And it's like when you're buying your house, like, God, if this is not meant to be, shut the door. And sometimes the door shuts and sometimes it's open. So that's pretty wild. Yeah, but that's a big deal. Where'd you grow up? Born in Mission, B.L. Grew up in the Whittier area. that's right. We were talking about that. Yeah.

So I remember, mean, you're a Navy man. Eight years. Eight years. Did you go right after high school? No, I went to, I was going to be a mechanic. I went to the Chrysler apprenticeship program at Cerritos College and I realized right away this is way over my head. Really? Yeah. So you knew like college wasn't going to be a thing or it wasn't, or did you think that? I was like, I was kind of good at like in high school, like auto shop and all. So I liked that. I was not a book guy, but I couldn't, you know, I hated school actually.

But I was interested in that and I did fairly well. So I got into this program and then I realized, like I said, in over my head first week or so, because I'm right out of high school. These guys were already mechanics, just trying to get their ASC certification. So when they say bring in your own tools, I'm bringing in my dad's tools. Yeah. And, you know, and I'm bringing in my 83 Nissan Sentra and you're supposed to work in your car and these guys are bringing in muscle cars. it was the pace was way fast.

breaking up into groups and I'm like, dude, these guys are like in like their late twenties thirties forties, audio mechanics grown man. Yeah. Grown man. And here I am just trying to like get started somewhere. And I was on the struggle bus with that for, for awhile, held on as long as I could. And then the guy was like, all right, maybe we need to get some experience, go get an apprenticeship or somewhere in a dealership. And then, uh, I joined the Navy and, I remember when I joined the Navy, how old were you? was 20. So you're 20. Did you

Speaker 2 (13:18.594)
Did you think going into the Navy like, I was going to maybe do mechanic stuff or what the jumping point from going from that to the Navy? was on bloody Matt's house. We're playing shirts and skin basketball in the front yard and his brother comes in this old school seventies Bronco, right? Yeah. Top off. He's got this beautiful girl in the front seat and he's blaring bad religion, the no control album and he's got a heater in his mouth. He's in his, he's in his dress whites came from San Diego and we're just like,

holding the ball. Like what the heck? He takes a rip out of a cigarette and he flicks it in the gutter and he's got, takes a sea bag off the, out of the back seat, the bench seat and he's got the smoking good looking girl. And, and we're like, are you being Jason? He's like, I just came back from Sand Dog called it Sand Dog. I where's that? He's like San Diego, San. We pulled in here to see my mom and dad. And I'm like, my God, what are you doing in the Navy? was just like,

like starstruck. I he was so cool. Yeah. I'm a firefighter. Damage control. I keep the ship afloat, put out the fires, stopped flooding. Like I want to do that. Cause I was, I was already like hurting in the program. So I went down, I talked to my parents about a thousand dollars in speeding tickets from the court. Failure to appears and all that stuff. So my mom and dad came in, my dad came up from work. was cocktail hour.

Every night, every night, same thing. So they go out there, they get the mail and they're on their chases and they're in the back. And like, mom, dad, I got to talk to you, like, don't interrupt, right? So finished the conversation, like, what do you want? I'm like, I want to join the Navy. So they're like, all right, we'll talk to the recruiter. So go down to the recruiter. He goes, you can't join because of all these tickets. You got a thousand bucks. I go back to my parents, talk next, to them. And I go, hey, I want to join, but it's a thousand dollars.

did. Don't worry about it. We'll cover it. We got you. Yeah. So went back and did you have any family in the military or anything? Just one bad-ass dude with a heater and a Bronco and a good looking girl. I take my girlfriend at the time we go back to the Fullerton recruiter. Isn't Fullerton. And I'm sending my life away and I leave for a minute and I step out. I come back in and he's passing my girlfriend a note, like a little, like a little piece of paper.

Speaker 2 (15:45.144)
She sticks in her purse. I drive away and I just joined the Navy, just signed my life away, right? So I remember with my shimmy, had a little shimmy on the stairwell. I haven't fixed that yet. I told you about the mechanics. So I'm like, hey, hey, what, what'd give you? He gave you something. nothing, nothing. I'm like, come on, what did give you? he's such a nice guy. gave me his number. when you're, yeah. So when you're bootcamp.

for four months, I can call him anytime to check up on you. Anytime of day. I'm like, Oh, that's one of a good, yeah. Anyways, and then I took off. It's going to get shipped out on talk to his nice little girlfriend while she's away. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Jody. That's Jody. That's the guy you sing about bootcamp. The guy that takes your girl away. So anyways, uh, we lasted a year later and another dude took her away and I was stationed pro Harbor ended up loving it and I stayed four more years and

Got my fire science, the Indian, that stuff. Came out when I was 28. What was the effect it had? mean, obviously you're kind of a young man. Sounds like you like the punk rock like I did. You're probably surfing, you're getting in the water, you know, doing all that. was the schedule, the structure, the discipline? I needed it. My mom told me the other day, she goes, we've got three kids. She goes, Rick, if you were the first kid, I would have stopped at one.

I had two perfect sisters. One was like the varsity cheerleader and the other one was like the stay at home kind of bookworm, know, had a pictures of Kirk Cameron all over her, bot magazine on stuff. And then it was me and the black sheep. Yeah. Yeah. You're the wild things. Yeah. It's always the wild card. Yeah. So you were, and, I mean, you're

You're in the Navy. Did you go right down the path? Did you get like a contract as a firefighter or did you have to work your way to that? Um, or do the fire science thing? Yeah. So my, my job title was damage control and so it was like shipboard firefighting. So, and I just loved it. I love it. I it was so cool. And, now you're on base, you're seeing big red drive by. I'm like, Oh, I got to get on that. So, I did all the fire science thing and EMT and that's cool. know, volunteering the ER, all that, blah, blah, blah. eight years is a pretty long time though. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (18:09.39)
And then did you, in this point, did you meet your current wife or anything like that? Yeah, I met her while I was in the Navy. So, so she was out there in Hawaii and Pearl Harbor with me for five years. Wow. So she from Hawaii? No, she's from South Omani. Okay. And there was a, my, one of my best friends growing up Guerrero, we'd always go to his house. He got like the cool house. His parents were always gone and stuff. Oh yeah. And his sister Christina, all her girlfriends came out there.

to the house, right? Yeah. So they're always hanging out just about every day. So I remember her a lot, but I never talked to her. They had the rock little click in the back, whatever. we're like doing slappies on the curb and skateboards and stuff like that, you know, messing around cool stuff. Yeah. Then, for that Bronco one. Yeah. And then, yeah. So that was long to when I was a kid. And then when I was in the service, I, I came up from work, we were in port and I just got an ass machine from the PX, right?

And then they exchanged it. And it was flashing. I'm like, I got a message. Cool. You know, that was this filthy dirty from working and it was like, Hey, I'm Christine. It's Christina. I'm in Waikiki with all my girlfriends. Hang out. Wow. Yes. Get the dress whites ready. yeah. it was like one of those, those days I haven't done laundry like in a month. So I had to find my cleanest dirty shirt, you know, this one smells all right. There was a couple of snuggles, whatever.

And then rub and dry your sheets on yourself. Yeah. Some extra, you know, Hugo boss. huh. And then, so I found out what they're saying, ring the doorbell, the hotel, and then my, my future wife opened the door. We locked eyes and restless history, man. So that's so cool. So you knew her, then, and then, yeah, so, She said she would never be interested in me back in the day. I had long hair and all this stuff. So you're punk rock.

Now you're Navy man. So yeah, so we hit it off and I was 27 years ago and we have two kids, 25 and 21. Thank the Lord. They're doing fine. And we knew it. Were you out of the Navy by the time you got married and stuff like it or no? No, I got, I was during the 20 and I got married at 23. Wow. And so we kind of, did you move her out to wherever you were at and kind of travel and she did the whole thing? Well, we're, we're based in Pearl Harbor, but I would have deployments. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (20:34.03)
quite frequently. So how was that? I mean, did she was able to, yeah, she's the eldest of like seven. Yeah. So she was happy. That's why the fire department thing, like it was just easy for her. She just handles business. Like I'd come home from where like a long time ago, whatever. Hey, I had a flat tire yesterday. I to America's tire. Handle it. You go with Bridgestone. Sure. Just handles. Just keep the fires burning at home. Just the backbone of the keel of the ship. Really? That's incredible. Yeah. Just solid. And, and, uh, she's,

You you you complain about something and something that bothered you at work or whatever, blah, blah, blah. And she'll listen. You bring it up again. I thought we already talked about this. You're to keep dwelling on this. Get over it. Move on. on. Yeah. It's good balance with the kids too. That's fantastic. Yeah. And, and that just, uh, and trip, did she know, did she have an interest in you when she's calling you up and why Kiki or just in the friend group? Never met her. Well, I I've seen her, but I never really knew her. So I think she likes, you knew I mean, I kind of remember whatever. Like we've seen each other, but like, you know,

And then when bam, you asked for a barrier and all of sudden 23 years old, you're ready to go. it's, yeah, that's pretty, that's a, it's a young man. mean, yeah, my parents are like, you don't have your college degree. Are you going to marry? But blah, blah. My mom was telling me, need to go play the field. I'm like, play the field. the one. Yeah. Like, so yeah, they were, cause I was so young and they're just like, I would be concerned. You know? So I hate that advice. I hear all these guys.

They tell like the young fireman like be single bro, do your thing. And like the kids got a great girl. They've been together for three years, like so your wild oats. And then you're like, I don't know if that's always the right, I'm like, you got a great girl. You got something going. know what she keeps the, she keeps the, she's just been, I don't know, like keeps the, keeps the bumpers on the, on the lane for me. You know what mean?

She's like, she's, she's just been like so supportive every day, a single day, every day. went back to back academies, fire academies every single day in my lunch. had a, I had a little note with a bar with a verse on it. Every, she was so supportive through the whole thing. Think of them. You know, I mean, I don't know, did you grow up with the faith? Was that part of the family? You know, uh, my, mom is super mama came from Russia and yeah. And she always said that we never had like a family crested.

Speaker 2 (22:52.138)
ours, ours is Psalms 91 that got us through like the escape Congress, Russia. She got here when she was six, born in Iran to get here. You know, the church got him to Tehran, Iran, right? And it was a working community. that like Orthodox Catholics kind of Russian or is it Russian? Yeah. Russian Orthodox. And so the church, they saved up, but they get church got him there and it was a working community where they can save up money to get to America. And it took them six years.

my grandfather and my grandmother. So he was a machinist and she was a seamstress and they saved up. So my mom sailed into Angel Island, San Francisco, and she was six years old. Wow. So it was like a, like a tough story. Yeah. And they were Americans. They took history classes, try to learn. They sounded funny when they were talking, they're broken English. They tried, they were Americans. They were proud. So you see that a lot in the immigrant communities. It's like, they're almost more American. Are they taking

so much pride and because of what they've took to get here and when I think sometimes we forget how lucky and blessed we are just to be born here. You know what I mean? Yeah. My dad was, and he was just real, I knew he believed in the Lord, but he's just real quiet. I him pray one time. He's just real quiet about it. Didn't really express it. He was just like a man's man, jazz cigarettes, bourbon. Like, you know, he's a great, great dad provider, but, he was, he was more quiet about that.

Jazz is kind of cool though. He gave me Buddy Rich. See we bond because if you guys don't know, Rick Cook is a fellow drummer, hits the skins. But yeah, some of that, I played in like a jazz quartet early on and I was a punk rock kid, we were playing punk rock. But you start playing music and learning music and learning music theory and looking at music appreciation, you go into some of that jazz stuff and the improvisation and all that stuff that they're doing, you're like this mind blown.

Yeah, the sizzle of the symbols and yeah, you appreciate it when you get older. First of all, yeah, you know, whatever you got to tell us about this drum set that you had a drum set. Yeah. Yeah. So fourth grade playing snare for the school. Mom's like, you like, if you like this, we'll get you a drum set down the road. And so driving by we're in Whittier.

Speaker 2 (25:13.294)
Stop the car, you know, this pawn shop. I'm not a pawn shop, was a yard sale. $30, just piece of crab drum set. I'm like, please, I begged her. And then this other, this dude I knew, girl, I've hit a mono, so he can never leave the house and everything like that. So I'd go over there and play the drums because he had this great kit. He's kind of a rich kid. And then he got a brand new set. called me up. He want, he want the old set? I'm like, Double bass, two bass drums.

like three or four crashes trying to like the poison set. Yeah. Yeah. It was awesome. And then I go to the Navy and I gave my, let my, my buddy like borrow it. He wanted to borrow it and keep it at his house. And so when I came back from the Navy, I keep in contact and you know, periodically I go to get my drums in it's gone, man. Yeah. But I love, I play, I play like, you know, I'm going to call it a sack. So I don't want to blast up neighbors.

Sometimes you got to maintain dominance on the cul-de-sac though. You know what mean? Sometimes I got to like, I'll roll up the garage and just let the people know that you got a savage down the street. There's a couple of people that are like, I like it. heard you play, you know, and a couple of people I like it. Yeah. I've had, I've walked in the house like, like, what you guys think about that? They're like, dad changed the beat. You're in the groove and you're in the groove. You can't stop the groove yet.

Did I remember, I was an LA kid, so we were going to lot of shows on Sunset. There were a lot of punk shows and stuff. I remember we were like, it was a different time, dude. We would just take the bus or get dropped off on Hollywood. It's like 15. at my pickup truck. Yeah. We're standing out line at some $5 show. I don't remember who the band was and the lines are around the block. You know what I mean? And this dude rolled up in this like 66 Cadillac.

And you know, it's one of those things that looked like 50 feet long and it, and same kind of thing as the Navy man. just has like punk rock, leather jacket patches all up grit hanging out the window. Yeah. And like tats, but that was at a time I tats on the neck. Like you've been to prison. Like now it's just like, you're a podcasters. Like this dude was punk rock and, and he got out, got the keys did and opened up the trunk.

Speaker 2 (27:35.214)
and he had his full kit in the trunk of the Cadillac. And I was like, that was the most punk rock thing. I've got to get a drum set and I got to get a Cadillac. are, that was it. Did you get the Caddy? No, I don't have the Cadillac. But you got the kit. I got a kit. Yeah, drums are fun. Super fun. We had a, you know, but you can't, I don't let anybody, you don't let anybody borrow stuff. I mean, you're in the Navy and you have too much of a choice, but it's what it was. So I'm gonna go back here.

Your wife sounds amazing. What's her name again? Karina Karina. She sounds incredible. Did she say, Hey, I want to have kids right off the bat or did you guys think about that? No, the first one wasn't really planned. know, I was just going to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I remember, remember, um, yeah, I remember I was, uh, uh, I went like on a two week deployment for something like just out and I came back and we're in our little,

Chevy S 10, you know, yeah. With that little side, yeah, cause I got trucks. An hour later, I come back with this, this little back side. Yeah. The suicide. Yeah. So in a nicest, I'd pop on a heater here and there. Right. So she's like, can you throw your cigarette out? And I'm like, what? And then she, she, it's only, that's the only way you get a break. I smoke cigarettes. If you don't smoke, you don't get a break.

So, and then, so she gives me, I'm at a red light. She gives me a card. I'm like, what the heck is going on? And it says like something like, are you ready for the pitter-patter of little feet or something like that? I'm like, what? So I'm like, my gosh. And she gives me a hug. I was pulled over and just, so that's she was. That's wild. my second one was kind of a miracle, man. It was not kind of, it was a complete miracle. We, we now we wanted this. We wanted another one.

We were having a hard time. wasn't with the producing X amount is X, Y, Z every month or what to do to produce it. So she got fertility pills and weird. I remember the bench in front of the clinic. She was just weeping and I'm holding her and the doctor says that your first one's a miracle. You can't have children. What? Yeah. Cause she only went over reproduces, et cetera. And not enough. So we just prayed, prayed, prayed. We're in a Bible state at time. There was this praying.

Speaker 2 (29:58.814)
And then, yeah, we find out we were pregnant before that. The doctor, went for a fall or fall appointment and the doctor and they're forget his name, Dr. Tran. he said that your, your child does not have a heartbeat. So I'm going to perform a procedure and we're going to do, get, you know, take the baby out. It's, it's not viable. So, we were devastated. I was,

after having a really hard time conceiving. So I was able to change doctors. took a minute and I was worried about that because if something's not, if it's, there's no baby in there, that's, that's alive. That's dangerous. So I'll another doctor, we got another appointment and, we're literally on our knees praying and they do a little sonogram thing. That's my daughter Trinity for she's 21 years old now. Whoa. Yeah. And what happened was this, this doctor,

had her dates wrong. So she wasn't far enough along to hear a heartbeat, but he was really quick with the stone face. say that we have to, a border basically. So brutal. That's my 21 year old girl. What, what made you switch doctors? Just because I wanted a second opinion. I didn't like him. I don't like these. I don't like this the way this is his demeanor, everything. Yeah, man. That's so important. And to be like such an advocate for

yourself and your free wife. something I've learned, it's like, you're the one, you're the one that if it doesn't feel right, you got to say something, you got to ask for a different doctor, you got to do. Yeah. And I think sometimes a lot of our society just puts some doctor up on a pedestal and there's some great ones out there, but there's just another guy. They're going to make human error all the time. Right. I'm sure you have to. There's a lot of firemen in the stations that they're, they're having a hard time having children. And I just try to encourage a man.

you know, don't give up and, you know, fate, the size of mustard seed and, you know, so what a mirror. I mean, the whole birth process is miraculous. The more I look into it, the more I feel like there's intelligent design, like, like it's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. can't deny that. No, you can't. Yeah. And you didn't, we do. There's other stories. have friends on this job that

Speaker 2 (32:23.906)
they tried for 10 years, went through all the infantility and just wasn't going to happen. I'm about to adopt. And then they had the miraculous conception. Now they got three kids. Yeah. Isn't that insane? It's insane. Yeah. I've had, it seems like like more lately, but guys are having a hard time, you know, and then they were, they're wondering if it's the vaccine and all this other stuff that goes along with stuff. So our exposures, whatever. So I don't know. I only know that God's in control.

You he owns the cattle in a thousand hills. So yeah. You know, I I mean, the fact, think the faith has been for us has been like a glue in our marriage. I don't know how it'd be hard for me to say how you would stay married long-term if you didn't have that. I'll tell you straight up, man. If I didn't have Jesus in my life, my wife, it would be, I mean, yeah, he's, he's been the glue.

It is the glue. And it's like this, and you have the presence of the Holy Spirit in your house. And it's just like a receipt, like I said before, when your kids are praying or like they're trusting God or my daughter, call her like joking around, but like she's kind of like my moral compass. She's the one that called me out. My son called me out, my wife called me out, but like, and then I get defensive and I get pissed off and blah, blah. But my daughter, it's a little different, like, you know, and when I remember like I was worrying about something or something's going out the house and I'm upset.

I hear this little knock on the door and you're like, daddy, did you pray about it? Or when you're really snapped and you're seeing red and like you're snapped, right? And you got to get in your room, realize what you're going to, we can blow up, right? And see that little knock. Daddy, can I have come in? You know, like she's like my moral compass man. is the best. Changes everything. Yeah. If it wasn't for Karina, I'd probably be, I don't know where I'd be. She's just, uh, she's been so supportive and you know, probably be an alcoholic. Yeah.

so no, I, the same way. I mean, my, my wife, I mean, I joke that she grew up on Sesame street and dad, the family, like we didn't have the family, like with the, she had the grandmother, the patriarch or grandmother and they prayed over dinner. like, was just like, what is happening? You know, I thought they just did this in fifties movies, you know, or fifties TV. But there's something I was attracted to that. That's what you want. think innately one. And then she helped me come to a faith and go.

Speaker 2 (34:45.166)
we started going to church and we started church hopping, you know, all over the place. But when we finally made, we actually did, I think one of the, probably the most important things we did like a biblical marital counseling before we got married and the dude like lined out in the Bible, like your role and responsibilities. And it was like a lot of times, like, I don't know different, like you just hear in society, like, Oh, it should be 50, 50, you do this and you do that. And he was like, no, no, no, you're the leader of the family.

She's just, you know, and I basically said how much you're going to love your wife like Christ loved the church, which is he died for it. like this is basically laid out the foundation, which I'm so grateful for of like having faith as the glue as the, and I don't think we would be married if we didn't have that. Yeah. Yeah. I just don't think. Cause you know what a term when things are ugly and bad or whatever circumstance, you know, something medically or anything, you know, where, you know,

you know where to go on your knees, you know, and as a family and pray and, know, and it's 60 40 you give 60, she gets 40 and then she gets 60 and get 40. That's how it works. No, 50 50 doesn't work. Yeah. It's always to me, it's always cause I stray daily hourly. like off the path, but then it's like, you get the knock on the door or the reminder of where I'm supposed to be. And then I'm like, Oh, I gotta go back and repent and apologize. And you know what I mean?

But it's the glue that kind of gets me back on track on what I'm supposed to do. You know, she told me, one time I stopped doing it. I used to do it every day. I got to wake up for work and my coffee. And then I get hurt. Her coffee cup going with a little, a little, a little coffee, little thingies, stick it in there. And I would put the Bible open and I would just like a verse or two. Cause no one wants like a whole like a reader's chapter, you know, just something, just something quick that I'm, that I'm, that I'm reading on before I go to work and I leave it out and I stopped doing it for a minute.

And she's like, why'd you stop doing that? And she's like, really? And then I had no idea that she was reading that in the morning and then bringing the kids and then they're reading it. Wow. You know, and like, it's like, think it's just like the little things over time, you know? It is. I had this funny, this guy, he's kind of a mentor of mine. A lot of people would come to me. He's a wise, wise, nice man, you know? But he'd always go, I think you should read a job 26 or he'd say, I look up John this and that. And I'm like, man.

Speaker 2 (37:09.006)
like, do you really know the Bible? that like, do you have that thing memorized like that? he's like, whatever situation to a verse. He's like, no, he's like, I just give him a random thing. It's kind of like, you're going to figure it out. You know what mean? You're not just trying to get you in the word, you know, and it's so far. I thought that was so funny. I Yeah. But man, I mean, what a cool thing. There's another guy I know that when I've done it, I have seen a change in our relationship when he said, Hey, I challenged you before. Cause we leave.

at O Dark 30 to come to work now to say your wife's still in bed. She doesn't even need to know it, but just pray over her before you leave. And I noticed those days, like it's subtle, but it'd be like, Hey, how's your day? She's like super joyful and like talking to me while I'm at work or whatever. And when I get out of that habit, it's like sometimes we're battling or sometimes we're, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Give her a kiss. Cause on our line of work, you know, it is what it is.

is.

Speaker 2 (38:07.886)
You know, you never know if it's going to be the last, you know, one. And I got this advice from Joe Wojak and he told me that, get a, get a letter and tell your crew, get a, get a letter and just cause it's going to sad. And you know, it's a tough thing. It's a tough pill, but write a letter and like, it's your last stick it in your locker and affirm your people that you love. And cause if one day heaven forbid is this reality man, they're cleaning out your locker.

and you passed away, if they have that sealed letter to your family, that came from Blue Jack. Man, I took that. It's heavy. It is heavy. instead of finding a bunch of dirty socks and laundry. Nice Zin cans. I'll find you. Yeah, so I don't know. It's like, I just love him so much, man. Like I said, I wouldn't be who I am without my wife. And she just encourages me, prays for me. Yeah.

throws grace on me. The kid thing changed everything. Like I felt like, once like my kids came like, this is the meaning of life. This is what I was supposed to. This is what we're supposed to do. Yeah. Like the Lord trusted me with these, these two. I got, with no instruction manual. No, no. Like should we take him in? Should we not take him in? Should we take him in? If you're going back and forth, like just take him in. And my kids, I have one in eight. He's on the job. It's 25 and

So proud and it's like, I was answered prayer. That just happened, right? easy? Like three, four years ago. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. So yeah, my daughter's just doing well. Going to college and you know, not pregnant, smoking pot. we're, life's good. She's on her way for a career. I'm not a girl power guy at all, but because of my daughter, I'm girl power, man. of course. Yeah. 100%. Yeah. You could get your career. Go do it. So sustain yourself and you know. I mean that.

You guys have any challenges coming up and like I mean we're right now we're in the midst of They're in middle school. It's a challenging transitional time. yeah, cuz now like what went from like it just seemed like Overnight we were collecting sticks and looking for bugs and everything's awesome and everything's an adventure Yeah, you know I mean and like everything's so fun to like and this is lame. That sucks. Don't talk to me

Speaker 2 (40:31.21)
How about instead of like picking them up from school, it's like how's school? Good. Good. What's new? No homer. Whatever. How about you go, Hey, what's sucked today? Well, Mrs. Johnson gives me too much homework. That sucks. You know, who's bothering at school? Nathan. He started opening up and he turned into a positive maybe hopefully, you know, but you got it. You had a pretty good perspective. You were telling us and like for mama, it seemed like you

tell me about like, the world is on them. Yeah. Especially that age. I mean, they're playing sports or, they're in a band or at school or something, you know, I mean, or they're in like whatever drama or whatever. So someone's always on them there, right? Coach. And then they go home, mom's ripping them. Right. And then, or you are, or vice versa. And, and, and then, you know, and then they have the social aspect of all the drama and

you know, at school and social stuff. So there's, and then their body's changing on top of that, all the hormones. So they're just taking it at every end. The world is on this. Like, he's probably, you know, just want to lock me in this lock himself in the room. Just like, leave me alone kind of thing. So that kind of balance between your wife and yourself, you know, like when she's ripping them, you know, it's like, Hey, all right, all right. You already, you already said it. They get it. And then vice versa when you're upset and like, Hey, you made your point. I know I get in trouble because she,

You know, I come home more of like the Disneyland dad or like they're melting down and my wife's like emotional about it. And she, don't know what happened the last two days. I'm like, yeah, exactly. It seems like mom's a little nutty. Want to get another ice cream or something? You know, she's like, you know, the thing is like, they know if I discipline, it's like something's hit the fan. that comes with my dad. Dad talk gets hit the fan. But at the same time, I like, I miss them. Right. And I'm like, I want to.

I want to have a connection. don't want to have the world on them and be every, the only time they see me is like clean your room, your homework, da da da da da da, you know? Right. Yeah. So it's a weird balance. Like we have, we have to have structure, but. You can't swing at every pitch man. you gotta let, you gotta let some go and you know, like, we'll let this one go, you know? Yeah. Yeah. They want, I remember they wanted cell phones, right? I gotta get some, I need a cell phone. So we went online. We don't want to only, we want a word document printed out of our own contract.

Speaker 2 (42:57.646)
just made it up. Yeah. I know your passcode. I get, you get spot checks at any time. And, uh, if your grades start slipping, it's, know, you can keep the phone, but the service is going to be cut off. So, you know, and so they, and then you make a copy, they get a copy and you sign here, sign there. We all have copies. I love it. It's a little accountability. So I love it. Did what age did you get them the cell phone? Probably junior high 12 or something.

They never had social media. My son obviously has social media now, but he's moved out. But when they're in the house, no social media. I don't care if you're over 18. Like now my daughter, she can have it. We don't bring it up. She doesn't want it anymore. She doesn't bring it up. She doesn't bring it up. But under 18, she, like there's no social media. like I said, she doesn't ask for it. So she's missing, all she's missing out is as much of just noise. Just time wasting.

Yeah, it's a complete waste of everybody's time. Yeah. Like I let them, like I let them on YouTube and stuff because I feel like even for me, like YouTube's educational, like, right? Like you can learn something. You're not learning anything on Instagram, Tik Tok, Facebook. It's just a bunch of noise. That's noise. That's this constant noise.

And for girls too, I mean, it's just constant pressure to look like this girl or look like that. now it's AI is on there. I'm like, how do you compete with that? Yeah. And that's like, I supposed to have an answer for everything, you know? No. And it's not biblical. So, um, and yeah, and it's like the social thing, like, oh, you find out someone had a party and you weren't invited. And then this is like, uh, like, so it's just like, just, it just sucks. They have Pasco's for their phone, like Pringles when they were growing up. And then I threw my wife, my phone, I go, put one on mine too.

I like, what? yeah, I'm a dude. So I've had a passcode on my parental control on my phone for years now. cause I just know me, you know? Good for you. And sometimes it's like looking up on something like, like a tool or something. got it. I got to have to have her unlock it. Did you Google dip chain? Yeah. I'm not, you know, they call it trailing. It just kind of keeps the, you know,

Speaker 2 (45:15.566)
Trailing to down that makes a lot of sense. You're looking for surf surf line serve. There's a bikini girl. Yeah, here we go There goes any you're down the rabbit hole. Yeah, where you don't want that? you have the the technology things the trip did is this a few years ago, but like We were out there looking at like there was like a praying mantis in our backyard. Mm-hmm My daughter's little and she's like, hey, what are those things eat? You know, I'm like, you know, they bugs and ants and maybe some leaves and stuff

And she just like walked right in the house. She's like, Hey, Alexa, what do praying mantises eat? like praying mantis of the nomenclature of, and there's went off this thing and it was totally wrong. I'm like, for thousands of years, like dad had the knowledge and she would have walked away and been like, all right, they eat ants and plants and stuff. You know? And now, now she looked at me with like disdain. Like, yeah, dad always has to an answer. make it up. Dad can never, should never say, don't know.

You don't need to say something. You don't know. Sometimes I'm what do you think? And then I'm like, well, that sounds pretty good. But you know, you got to have an answer. Dad's got to have an answer. Was it, do you think your son early on wanted to follow your footsteps or did you do ride along? He rode along. I think we're leaving. I was at 21 at the time and he's not allowed to touch the radio. You know, smack your hand. You don't touch the AC controller or the radio.

Right. Get your own car one day and I'll be a passenger. I won't touch. won't. So he had a little camera and a little, my little commuter and he turns on the radio. I smacked his hand. Like, are you doing? He's like, he's like, dad, how do I become a firefighter? I got, I got it. How old was he? think I he was 16. Awesome. Yeah. So he was, he took the seat pad at 17. I had to sign a waiver cause he was under 18. Okay.

And I was like nervous, like, okay, well, how do you get an awful elephant, you know, one button at a time, dad, know that, but it's such a big thing. Yeah. Anyways, so yeah, that's where a couple of ride-alongs. You didn't see anything too gory that turned them off to it. Yeah. He's seen a couple of things. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, but it never turned them off. I think. And, um, yeah, that's awesome. So

Speaker 2 (47:37.23)
I want to kind of get into your, was the jumping off point for you to promote to captain? Cause well, I wanted a, so there were a couple of guys that were going to be retiring. You can't win unless you play the game. So I went probably three years earlier that earlier than I wanted to just to be an eligible candidate to get their spot. it. I was a man. was, I was, uh, you know, politics in a little bit, you know, I want your spot so bad, but I would just have

two or three guys lined up. I one guy for sure, because he shook my hand like three times in front of my mom. So that was locked in. And then a couple of guys in the back were just, you know, so, but I couldn't, I wanted to, I wanted the response so bad. I jumped on it earlier than later. I'm glad I did. think it's, I think it's the best position personally. I love it. it, I mean, obviously you gotta, you had to put in a lot of work. had to do the classes, you gotta do all this stuff, but that was just not, not a big deal balancing family time with any of that kind of thing.

No, it was fine. mean, uh, I kind of, I was kind of a last minute Joe on some of the stuff that had to get done. Yeah. But I was out there practices and games and stuff. So, um, tell me why you think it's the best position. Uh, you know what, because engineers great. Well, I did fire me a medic engineering captain, but they're all, they're all great. But I just love, uh, like today, you know, like there's nothing on your drill schedule. So we're going to dictate our own day. Yeah. And we went out and pulled a line.

meals and you know, I to work out like so you get to determine the vibe, the culture, the yeah. So, you know, like at a big house, some somewhere else, like if you're, if you're, if you're looking around the room or ever small house, wherever, and you're looking at these faces and one guy's on day three or four, one guy was up last night arguing with his wife or one guy looked like he tied on one, one too many last night where that's not a normal thing. You let him go and let him have their day, you know,

those other days of the coming in, you know, piss and vinegar. That's when you go look at the building. That's when you're to do some fire prevention. That's when let's roll out. And he's kind of like dictate like, you know what? I want to do a drill the other day. And our, my engineer working that day, he was like on day five or six recall all this stuff where, so we're not going out. That's part of the good dude thing. think that not, there's a lot of people that won't do that. They have their agenda. They have their schedule.

Speaker 2 (49:59.52)
They're not going to read the room and that's just going to be what it is. And that's where that's a challenging thing. There's nothing worse than a giant car. saw the burrito for lunch and then did you do engine? I was like, you know, come on, dude. Yeah, we got to talk to the assistant managers the other day. He had it. We got one of those. We got a great burrito in Huntington Park. What was that? Cholo's. that place is bomb. And, know, there's a.

there's a window where this is good food. And then after that window, it's not good food, right? And maybe, maybe it's 15 minutes, maybe it's 20 minutes. Time sensitive. He pulls in with the quint to like fill up fuel. Right. When we got pulled into the barn, we're like, all right, time out, bro. We had all morning. We have the rest of the day. Plus you're to get that third alarm bomb. You always take your food with you. Right. And so I'm like, there's a time and place.

But it's when you have a hot burrito, this is not the time to fuel up the rig. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. When I studied for, for the written, you know, I studied, I made sure I studied in Jen pop at the house. I made sure I was downstairs, you know, on the couch with my laptop. I had to borrow my kid's laptop. But, and I made sure that I wanted them all to see me study. I wanted this bad. So then when I passed,

We literally were jumping up and down as a family. That's so cool. Because dad doesn't take time. I don't take tests. Dad had a big test and dad passed. so that's cool. Take me to round table. We're drinking a pitcher and I drink a pitcher. Yeah. I gave my wife a glass. Something looked too bad, but yeah, man, we celebrate it. you know, I was, I was a family. I was just so happy. You know, that's such a cool thing. I, I love and respect, uh, Kevin Tobia, who's retired now for probably seven years, but I remember his wife. He ended up being a 22 year captain.

22 years in rank got hired really young and did fireman medic engineer and then got, I think it promoted at like 30 or 32 or something like that. Yeah. He was great. 15th. But his wife came in this one year we were there and brought a cake, got the kids, everyone's there. we're like, see, you didn't tell us your birthday cap, you know, we're like, we know you don't really want to say it's your birthday. And she's like, no, this is the, we celebrate the year that he promoted to captain every year.

Speaker 2 (52:25.23)
Really? And that's the year that I stopped working and I was a full-time mom and we celebrated. And it was a family accomplishment, you know? And I love that. It was just a cool thing. What a respect thing from the wife to do for her husband. And I think it's just a cool thing as a family. It was a family accomplishment. That's a very cool thing. Because I have the thing of be like, I'll study when they're gone. I'll study when...

They're at home and I'll just, but I think they want to see you grind too. And it's also teaching them. think, you know, you want something you you gotta, you gotta put out, man. You got it. Yeah. got it up at the time and, and no one's going to give it to you. Yeah. There's, think that's important to do things like that. You're passionate about in front of the kids or things that you believe are like character builders. So like a lot of times I want to work out with my music, blaring in my time and my place. Yeah.

And sometimes I'll just wait, I'll wait for like, Hey, we got nothing going on this afternoon. There's no practice. There's no this, but I'm like, Hey, let's all go out in the garage or let's all go do something. And of course I'm not going to get the workout that I would normally get, but I want to see the want them to see that, Hey, this is what we do. stay physically, mentally, spiritually fit, you know, and like, is what we do, you know, but it takes, but sometimes it's like, I know I'm going to get a crappy workout. It's not what I want. That's family camaraderie.

But it's amazing what happens when you show them like, like they, they're mirrors of you, When you do the yard, we teach your son how to do the yard, right? You're like 45 minutes. You're good. You're done teaching your kid how to do the yard. It's going to be, it's good. But that time is, you know, precious. I'm bad at that. Cause I'm like, they're going to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and they're jacking up the bread.

And I'm like, get me, out of the way. Let me do this. But I've got, I've got to slow down and let them do it and teach them how to do it and take the four hours to make a sandwich. Cause they have to figure out a picture on the wall. Like for your son, know, like your daughter coming up, like little things, you know, like finding this stuff and like any little thing, like just include them. And so you don't, you don't realize like they're, picking up more than you think that they are. It's kind of funny that my daughter got a vanity mirror thing and he had to.

Speaker 2 (54:51.086)
It's one of those Ikea things that had 8,700 pieces that you had to put together, you know? But she's like, can I help? And of course, you know? So we take all the parts out and I said, hey, can you go get the Allen wrenches? She goes down in the garage, comes back. What's an Allen wrench? And I'm like, all right, it looks like this. You gotta go get the whole set, you know? And she's going three. I just kept her, just kept her doing it. You know what mean? I hold it like, you like when you're a kid, you're just holding the flashlight. Yeah. And she's like, I need a Phillips head. She comes back with the flathead.

You don't hear like, it looks like this one, the star one daddy. Yeah, but we're going to call it Phillips. But it's like, you got to keep them engaged and keep them involved. realized a kid, he's got the screw job. Now you're picking up the wall. The screwdriver is like, what are you Do you still wrench on a car or anything like that? Do you any little breaks and just oil changes and sometimes he's used to taking in, but

I'll do breaks. I always feel like I'm, don't know anything, right? And so I feel like I'm always getting smoked whenever I take the car and I just, you know, the flux capacitor has a little wear down and we're to have to replace that. And I'm like, all right, you know, but maybe I'm like trying to Google on the side of this is the, I always wish like I had a background in like auto technician or mechanic stuff. So I know I'm not getting smoked and ripped. Yeah.

So when, uh, did you have any worries with your son getting on the job? I'm, yeah, that was his tower was tougher on, on me than my, my tower, just to worry, you know, like I was, I went through, I was 30 and had, um, you know, two kids, wife and two kids at home. So, and I left the federal fire department, which was, it was a great job. So, so, um, but this is the County, you know, and I deserve all my, I didn't have one chip out there. All the chips ran.

And it was stressful, know, long days. Don't just don't get fired. Right. Yeah. But when my son was in, I'm like, Oh my gosh, we wouldn't hear from all day. Right. And he's living out Del Valle and Santa Clarita. And I went here from like nine 30 and he talked to him for like 30 seconds on my, he's hopefully my son is so mellow. It's just like, it's just a cool, cool cat, right? He's just, I how's your day? like, what do you, what are girls up to? No, no, no, no. You know, it was like, you know, he's like, so

Speaker 2 (57:07.872)
It was a just nerve wracking. Just get through it one day at a time. He was 21 in the tower. He's the youngest guy in the tower. So yeah, it's like, I mean, he's coming in as a name. You know what I mean? He's a legacy and I can, I know, no, but I, we will like, I taught in the tower for nine years, you know, and like, we know if there's a kid and that's his dad's on the job, we know, and we're watching them. And I'm not like a lot of times it's cool. You want that kid to succeed. Right.

but we're also watching them like, is he playing the game? Is he hustling? Is he jogging? You know, like, he doing the thing? One day he's like, I dropped the hose. I'm like, Oh my gosh, don't jump in. It's like, relax. I'm fine. I'm fine. And, and I, there's a captain that was a training camp. He gave me a text message one day and he's just like, Hey, your kid's doing good. It's like, Oh, so when the, Christian would call, he was like, shut up. the TV on. It's just like, he's calling. Did you feel that? Cause it's just the opportunity of our fire department.

How big of it is where it's like, this is his career. His career is he'll be taking care of number one and number two, he's going to enjoy it. That's a that's a unique thing. I think which is so cool. Like it's celebrated in New York and you go to Boston and Chicago. It's celebrated that, hey, this is the fourth generation and it's not so much out here where it's been. But it is, I think, as a dad, that would mean the most to me is to say, I know this kid has insurance. I know he's going to have retirement.

If he doesn't screw up, he's going to have the same job for 30 years, which is not a lot of keep in his generation can say that. you know, I got all the buddies that I went to college with, they changed jobs every four or five years. Yeah. Very, very proud. Like I you are too. You me know. Yeah. Well, we worked hard. I, I, I, good in my life has come easy and I worked really hard to get it. So I, you know, sometimes I take it for granted for sure, but

to nature, know, you got, you know, I think God every day that from our career, you know, and, but yeah, it's just your human and kind of like, gotta smack yourself back. Like, my gosh, like I'm, my family set my wife's taken care of, know? I remember when he was doing his, had that weird zoom interview, the bizarre, no handshake. Yeah. Okay. So, and we're just kind of like, just reviewing like what they could possibly ask and his experiences and, know, like just getting it because he's young. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (59:30.414)
And it was game time coming up and he's like, I'm like, all right, I Kareena to get the dogs out of the house, know, in case the doorbell rings or so. And I'm like, I'm here, buddy. I'm like, I want to be on the other side of the wall, on the backyard. Give me a pound. There's a prom, you know, and come in like if there's a technical problem, whatever. He's like, do you like debt? He's like, you are stressing me out. Get away more than this interview. It's off. I'm like, good for him. Okay. be on that side.

Speaker 2 (59:57.557)
Oh, I be on pins and needles. could have been. Yeah. It's like, just want success. You know? Yeah. Oh, that's a lot. What, one of the things that I really admire about these, you worked at probably one of our busiest fire stations at fire station 16. It's Watts top dogs, you know what I mean? And that's the fire factory. But you always seem to have a smile on your face. You always seem to be.

Not like it was no big deals, but it was always like, you could tell that you're still just a good dude, a good human, where sometimes I feel like guys that work sometimes at very busy stations that can go to your head like, hey, we're the best or we're this or that. Was that ever a conscious decision to try to, or is it just human nature to be like, I'm going to be me no matter what? Yeah, just that place is just, it truly is the island of Misfit toys.

Everyone, you got the characters. Everyone's got their own personality. Yeah. And, uh, but that's it. And some great dudes too. Oh, they're amazing. I love them. Yeah. I love them. And that was very tough for me to leave there. I was there as a, um, a fireman, I'm sorry, medic and engineer as a captain on every rig. And it was, I wanted to retire out of there. And then Karina, about a year ago, we're in the jacuzzi and I was sipping a little something. So she, and,

She started getting emotional and tearing up and she grabbed me by my shoulders and she says I need you to slow down. I need you in retirement. All your Obi-Wan Kenobis on the job, the guys you look up to, they've all told you that they should have retired earlier and slowed down sooner. So why aren't you listening? What do you have to prove? And I'm like, have to prove. It's the guys I love and I pray for them. I walk in, doesn't matter. My sister passed away like a year and a half ago or so.

Yeah, know what that was, Tosh. And he did the whole thing of him. I'd aggrieved my mom, who's lost her daughter. My kids were crushed, my sister. Everything was going on. And the first conversation at the kitchen table at that firehouse, I'm knee-slapping laughing my ass off. know what I mean? It's just like, it's that brotherhood, man. It's just special. then so, yeah, so Karina basically pushed me out of the plane and I landed here.

Speaker 2 (01:02:14.126)
at 52 and it was one of the best things I've done. Did she see any physical or emotional symptoms that you think? Yeah. Just because we don't see it. get off work. I get two waves. I literally would get two waves and go in. Now I'm surfing two hours, man. Like, I can't wait for like, wrong again. I can't wait to go back out. Limping, tired, grumpy, gaining weight, blood work. When I got here,

I'm 16, they checked my my blood pressure at, my, think it was near to watch this time. It'll fit for life. yeah, got one of those. Yeah. It was 156 or something. I'm like, what the heck? I a bunch of coffee and it was comfortably maybe, and they checked it there. I was pretty proud of that. was 118 or something or other. So I'm getting sleep and getting some more workout. It's hard though, when you're, you're in the midst of that, like you're surrounded. I think those are our all stars, right? Those are stellar dudes.

And they're, they're, they're great. They're hilarious. Like you said, but they're, they're also tough guys. Those are, those are warriors, right? You put in a lot of those guys have put a lot of time in that station, which is very physically demanding. And I think, I mean, my hat is off to you and I wish I would say I'm some tough guy, but I know for myself now that I'm 46, I suck at sleep deprivation. Like when I don't sleep good, I'm a mess. Like it affects my physical, my spiritual, but not just physically. Like I'm like,

I'm grumpy. I'm irritated. I'm not the best dad. I'm not the best husband. My wife had to kind of come to Jesus talk with me to like, Hey, figure it out. like, you can't be chasing busy stuff all the time just so you can build your resume and look tough. This isn't working. know? Yeah. They get the fires and stuff, but it comes with a lot of rescues and up at night. Yeah. And so I'm going home like just cross-eyed. One person looks at me wrong on the frigging freeway and I'm wingspanning them. You know, like you're just like, and I started muttering.

Every call at nine, like my dad, I'm done. I try to make it fun for the guys. we, we just sent past Sanchez, you know, Sanchez's tires. Like someone give me a rap on Sanchez's tires and they start rapping, just trying to make it fun. And you know, one time I was like, um, I'm like, all right, count of three. Everyone say their favorite Madonna song. I'm like one, two, One of my good friends goes lucky star, lucky star, but I just try to make it fun because we're all like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:40.322)
Yeah, it was grumpy. Were you a push through guy? Were you able to come home from a tough night and just have a coffee and push through? Yeah. you try to get your nap in? Yeah, I Touching ghosts. Yeah, you're no chance. I remember my kids, when Monster was coming out, Monster energy drinks and stuff like that. We're like, every time you have a trip planned or whatever, you come home.

bags are loaded out the door. They're like, yeah, desert. Like, my gosh, I'm going to die. So, and then we go and then like you pulled the liquor store, get a monster like, no, there was a span when I was working a busy squad. There's a span in those years that every picture that we had of the family, had like a red bowl, a monster coffee. I just had it in my hand.

It was just like that was just constant. That was the excuse of like, what's more hazards from health drinking this or driving off the road? Right. Like we got to stay awake here, family. Yeah. But, so yeah, it was this time and, and I'm glad I, yeah, I'm glad my wife talked some sense in me and no regrets. I I got a great crew here. Yeah. They know us right. Like sometimes like I hate when my wife will bring something up to me.

Like, don't know what you're talking about. But she's most of the time she's right. Yeah. She can read you right away. They know what's leave you alone. No, I know. Yeah. What is I mean? I mean, you got a son, a job, a daughter on their way out. Like you look forward to having that empty nest or is it a tough? No, because my son moved out. My daughter, like she's busy with school and everything. And so we have we bought a cabin up by Lake Girlhead and we're up there a lot.

Nice. Yeah. I one more day here and then we're to head up. And so that's our getaway. No news, no, no, no junk from down the hill. Awesome. Yeah. That's like our getaway. So, I don't know, like, know, we have so much fun together. We just laugh and, know, I love it when they're like, my son moves out, but like I said, but he's, he's home a lot. Yeah. I'll get home. on the couch or whatever. That's awesome. it's great. Amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:06:52.024)
We'll have cigar in the backyard. that's amazing. We'll talk about girls, know, God, life, everything. You know, so do you think it was just did they always have a feeling like how did you design that word? I worry that I always want to be the guy to say like you can come to me in the mean and like even if you broke the rule or you were in a dangerous spot, just call me and I'll come get you and you're not in trouble and I'm not going to get mad at you.

But I just always want to have that availability. But I worry that sometimes, you know, I'm starting to see the seventh grade thing, you know, that they won't come to me. You know what mean? Or maybe I'm not, I'm too hard. I don't know how to explain that, but I know exactly what you mean. My son and I, um, you know, we used to butt heads. I was pretty tough on him, you know, and different than your daughter. hundred percent. If I talked to my daughter, the way I talked to my son or she'd be a runaway for sure. There's dirt is different. You have to parent differently. You have to.

I told him one day you're going to be the man of the house, right? And something's going to go wrong and they're all going be looking at you. What do do dad? So we're raising tough men here, right? And it's always pretty tough on them. and you know, we've actually gotten to a fist fight before. you really? Yeah. Yeah. And trying to test old man, old man. And you know, so I called up, I didn't sleep that night.

That night I went to the garage. got to my knees and you know, the, you know, the movie where like the slow rain, the guy's like, why, why was that? He comes in there and he's like, um, I'm leaving. Um, I don't deserve to be here. I got Christmas money. I'm out of here. I can't even look at you. I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry. I go, come here. I'm sorry to buddy. We hugged. was, it was a great moment. He sat up on the washing machine. go, why'd you, you punch me? He's like, I'm gonna excuse my French by the way.

You're the one that taught me not to be a And not to back down anybody. I'm like, well, my son was taught like, he was voted hardest hitter twice, two years in a row, player of a hardest hitter for, he's a linebacker. So I'm trying to and like guys, you know, talk about their kids and stuff. That's one thing I'll always say. I'm just proud of that. But so then- Let get on you though, because you could be like, get out of here. You disrespect me.

Speaker 2 (01:09:09.997)
You know, like so, cause monkeys don't run the zoom in. I, and so I remember she came in and she's like, what the heck is going on? My daughter's crying on the couch. The house is upside down. This is like bad. Right. And I go, if, he doesn't respect me, I'm gone half the month. He, you're, you're double screwed. Right. And I got mad at her. What do you want? said, what do want me to do? Dr. Phil. And so I called my buddy, uh, Eric, he works for Santa Monica and go, man, I'm calling up a day. I am, I, I am in distress. I don't know what to do here. Right. I'm F'd up man.

This is bad. And he's here for me. He goes, you stand your ground. You're the man of the house. You stand your ground and you coach me up. And I'm like, okay, calling sick the next morning. I'm like, I'm not coming in, find somebody. I'm not leaving my house. So I call for counseling. I know we have 10, 14 counseling and they're kind of pushing them. That's how they're kind of pushing the mental health stuff.

And so every time I call like, cool. I'm like, I need to talk to somebody, but I don't want to talk to a female and talk to a man who's had teenagers boys specifically. Yeah. And what's your insurance? I hang up. I kept doing that. And so I'm like, I called the church at the time refuge in Huntington beach. I don't go there anymore. I can't talk to a pastor and this guy I'll never forget. It's all what happened. He starts chuckling. He goes, you just don't talk to you. I go all the time. Does he tell you things? I mean, he tells me everything. He goes, when you figured out you call me.

Seems like you're doing all right. Yeah. You keep doing what you're doing is I'll pray for you, but you idiot for me up. So, and then from there, my, my son and I kind of, think we needed, we needed that to happen. Yeah. It's almost a rite of passage. Like all young boys are like at some point they're like, you know what I mean? Yeah. Like I'm, I'm, it's almost an independence thing. Like I'm, yeah, I'm growing in my body. I don't see you as this, this gigantic figure anymore. Like I could take you. Yeah.

But it's a male thing though, like my best friend to this day, we've been best men in each other's weddings, best friends. We've knocked the piss out of each other a couple of times. know what mean? And our wives can't ever understand that. Like you guys fought and we're, you know. Yeah, and you get a beer and we're best friends. And that's a, that brotherly thing, that brother, I mean, it almost has to happen where that is unfathomable for a woman. You know I mean?

Speaker 2 (01:11:29.91)
if you ever fought, they're going to be mortal enemies to the death. But I think sometimes that men need to have that for almost mutual respect. Yeah. And sometimes you'd like, what's wrong with that guy? Was there something off? A lot of it comes down. He's probably never been punched in the face. Yes. 100%. Yeah. So we do need a little bit of more of that. that, mean, good on you though. They could have gone one or two ways. You could have never talked to him again, but if you didn't reach out for that hug and they give them and the prodigal son story, he's not a product.

And he means he's awesome. But it just reminded me that like, don't care what happened. And I'm sorry to like, I'm, I'm the adult here. So what happens I threw his phone down and broke his phone. Oh, was it. The phone or the contract, the contract broke the contract. I shattered that thing. Yeah, I freaking slammed it down. I was pissed. And it's another world like, I have a fifth grader and she's the only one in a class that doesn't have a phone. And it's a problem.

Yeah. I'm like, I don't, we don't care. Your mom doesn't work. We pick you up. We drop you off. We know you're at like, I'm just trying to delay as long as possible. know, fifth grade, that's tough. Yeah. Cause she feels like she's not. Yeah. mom's phone to text her friends and like get in the group chats. But it's just like, I don't know. I just, I call the thing, the portal to hell. Like you have too much access to the world and we can put on the parental controls, but they're always one step ahead of whatever. Well,

You know, in Genesis, that, you know, Adam and Eve don't eat from the fruit of knowledge of good and evil, right? There it is. Because you're going to see what I see what God said, right? You're to see everything great and you see everything you're not supposed to be seeing. What's the first thing you see when you fire up your iPhone? An apple that's bit. Oh, yeah. So you can see everything about space and everything. That's awesome and cool. And you can see the darkest things that you should not be looking at. And you know it. We know it. Yeah, you know it. Yeah, it doesn't feel right.

That's That's you, man. It's like back in the day or, know, life seemed like just a lot more simple. did. Yeah. It's weird thing. I think sometimes we're in fear or I'm in fear more. Like I've never, I was never in fear until I became a dad. Now I worry about everything about them. know what mean? My biggest fear was always someone taking them. I tell my daughter, my wife, I go, someone tries to take you, you kick and scream, you yell fire or whatever you need to do.

Speaker 2 (01:13:55.362)
There's no talking negotiating because if they see you, I will, if they, I'm sorry, they, if they take you away, I will never see you again. Mel Gibson's not coming to the house. We're not making phone calls. You're gone. I will never see you. So that, that like terrified me. Isn't that a thing? Like I didn't have any of those worries. You come a dad, you worry about everything. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I can't imagine. I'm not even the stage where they're driving away from you. that's another thing driving. my gosh. They started driving. They're leaving the house. You're like, my gosh. wow.

You know, it's scary. But he's got a prayer protection, a hedge protection over him. Were you vocal about your faith throughout the career or were you able to blend the two? Sometimes that's a delicate balance. I'm not. I tell people, yeah, I'm a Christian. I ain't perfect. Make that little disclaimer because they might hear me drop an F-bomb. That's a guarantee for me. Yeah. Or they see me at a Christmas party and I have a handful of beers or whatever.

there's like other Christian because I don't want to be fake or phony. I am who I am, dude. Right. So, yeah, I was always, I was always vocal about it. And, one time Danny on AI was at threes and I was leaving the last day there and he's a Christian, Danny on a, and he walked me out to my car and I go by guys and, and, he goes, Hey man, you were more of a, you were more of a light than you think you were. Just dropped that on me.

Cause you always feel like, I too much. You know what I mean? With the guys, you know, and man, I, I drove away and I was like, he hit me, dude. He got me to, yeah. To put on my sunglasses, man. Yeah. And I was like, God, thank you. You know, I didn't realize I had no idea. Cause you're in this frat house, know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's a, it's a weird thing. bet, I'm more okay now knowing that I'm like,

a fallen sinner and that I do have a past that was rough around the edges. And that I always had this idea that you had to be this perfect Christian with the tucked in polo shirt and the khaki pants and God morning to you, you know, and like that was, I knew that would never be right. And so I'm like, I feel like the more I'm real, the more I'm open, more I'm honest, like the more Christian I am, if that makes any sense. Cause I'm an, I will fail miserably every day. Right. And, and, I don't.

Speaker 2 (01:16:22.38)
And I know that people that are non believers will see that as like it's hypocritical. I'm just a hypocrite. I can't really worry about that. I'll say this, you know, great thing. And then I walk out here, stop my toe and I may drop it and drop enough on. So it's like, right. But I don't think non-Christians know that like we're all fallen. Right. And the only that's why we need Jesus is because it's the only thing that will bring us to the.

He knows our makeup. He knows our fiber. He knows our being before we even started. He knows he knows my anger issue He knows I drink too much sometimes he knows You know, mean this is no surprise like my gosh, Rick. You know, knows the deal and he knows like that I have that gauge in my head and like you pretty totally I need to get in the word more. It's like it's like kind of a working out thing I need to start in the gym again But like I need to start reading the word more and you start doing this more or stop doing that more whatever Yeah, that that conscience that Holy Spirit

I think that's big. I always sort of look back like, am I, am I better than I was three years ago? Yes. Am I better than I was 10 years ago? Yes. Am I, so if I, feel like, I'm never going to be like what you would say the prototypical Christian, I don't think, but I think I'm better than I was, which is I'm okay with. Yeah. No one's touching the ceiling. You can have everyone, you know, if one touches the ceiling and whoever touches the ceiling goes to heaven, right? Yeah. You know, the, I don't know, but mother, mother Teresa, everyone's in there, right? No one's touching the ceiling.

Some might get higher than others, but it's that gap is that grace and mercy that we're making on. I'm all in on that too, man. 100%. So, and if we don't have that, what do we have? You So we have to say, I've always like part of the podcast was talking to everyday men. If you listen to sometimes podcast or CEOs of industry or they're Laird Hamilton's or there are these guys and it's sometimes it's very hard to relate to something like that, but I've always been fascinated by the everyday man hero.

who's working a job, trying to stay in shape, staying married, being a good dad, putting family, like those kinds of things are heroic to me. And I value that. I love that. Like there are guys like you that we can try to put on a show like this because you're not going to be on Rogan, right? On neither am I. But at the same time, I think like sometimes like you look back, it says something to me that you've been married for 27 years. It says something to me that you're in the Navy for eight. It says something that

Speaker 2 (01:18:46.818)
you've done the career here and everybody that I talked to has good things to say about you. that means something like that means something to me. And it's like, man, I would, that's the kind of people that I want to be around. And that's the kind of person I want to be. And we have this thing called the fire you carry. Is there something the fire that you carry that drives you to wake up, put your shoes on and do all that every day? Yeah. It's the Lord. There's hope. I appreciate all those, those nice things you said, Kevin. I appreciate you too, It's the Lord.

Yeah, I'm just, I'm happy, man. You know, and like I saw my daughter today, she had a bad grade on her test and I go, you don't, don't learn. You don't learn from the a hundred percent days you learn from those. Those are the days you build character and learn. So even the bad days, I have hope man, you know, and I think the answer to your question is it's God. Like I said, if I didn't, I'd probably be an alcoholic. I'd probably be miserable, maybe divorced. I don't know. But yeah, that's, that's, that's what drives me. And you know, and I,

Like now that I'm getting healthier and getting more sleep now I'm like surfing a lot more playing the drums more like I'm excited. Like the snow is going to be coming. So I'll all snowboarding. I fish every I'm a surfer. I'm fishing. Right. And if not, I'm going to spin class when it's raining. So it's like, I'm just, I'm living. I'm just, I'm like thankful to be able to do this. And I come home and I got a beautiful, I the loves me still. And you know, cool little two little dogs and life's good, man. I got a man for a son, a beautiful young lady who's this, is God fearing and she's classy.

She has class. That's the number one adjective that I love about her. She has class. Because everything else after that, follow the suit. That's a tough attitude to have in these times because you think like who the world idolizes, the Kardashians or something like that. You know what I mean? And that you wouldn't say they have class. know, and so what a cool thing to be able to say. She speaks the way she dresses, the way she looks, what she watches. She's just classy, you know? And I know the Lord has someone very special for her.

So amazing, Thanks for coming on the show, bro. Thank you. I want an opportunity. I appreciate it. Yeah. Thank you. This has been the fire. You carry podcasts.

Speaker 2 (01:21:03.042)
Big thank you to Rick for being willing to sit down with Kevin and come on the podcast. Like I said, in the opening, I took a lot away from this episode personally. I'm sure you guys did too. We've been doing this for five years now, which is incredible. And this is a great example of the reason why we continue to do it. Every time we do an episode like this, I come away learning something. I come away with something that I'm going to implement in my own life. This episode is no different and we know that it's the same for you. And so we are going to continue.

to do this because we love it. And we appreciate the fact that you are out there still listening. For those of you who have reached out to Kevin or I via text about this podcast or an episode, I just want to say thank you. That doesn't happen all too often. And that's totally okay and appropriate, but I just want you to know that when it does, it's super meaningful to us and super helpful. So in addition to doing all the things, rating the podcast, if you haven't leaving us a review, all that kind of stuff, asking questions on Spotify, leaving comments.

If you send us a text and let us know something you appreciated about the episode or, maybe even give us some constructive criticism. All of that's incredibly helpful and we deeply appreciate it. We love knowing you guys are out there and we look forward to seeing you again next week.